WARNING: This is incredibly sweary, so if that sort of thing offends you, you might not want to read this.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH MY FUCKING IMMUNE SYSTEM. I JUST GOT OVER A COLD, I JUST FUCKING GOT OVER A COLD NOT TEN FUCKING DAYS AGO. WHAT IS THIS SORE THROAT STUFFY SINUS BULLSHIT? I'LL TELL YOU WHAT IT IS: A BIG OLD GLASS OF FUCK YOU, MOTHERFUCKER. I DRESS WARMLY, I SLEEP, I STAY HYDRATED AND WHAT DO I GET? A MOTHERFUCKING SHITTY IMMUNE SYSTEM. NOW I'M CHUGGING JUICE AND POPPING AIRBORNE LIKE THEY'RE CIRCUS PEANUTS. AND JUST IN TIME FOR CHRISTMAS. "What did Santa bring you?" BRONCHITIS. MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS, BITCH. SUCK MY CLIT YOU PENGUIN FUCKING DEEP FRIED SHIT NUGGET. SHUT YOUR DICK HOLSTER AND GO SODOMIZE RUDOLPH, YOU JELLY-BELLIED COCK SLAPPER. COME ON IN TONIGHT CUZ I'VE GOT A SHOTGUN WAITING WITH YOUR NAME ON IT.

I'M GONNA GO MAKE SHORTBREAD NOW.

FUCKING FUCKITY BYE.