I need to do something. Anything. I need to run, walk, something to take my mind off of itself. I need to go out back, but my mother is there and she will take one look at me and want to talk, and I don't want to talk, I want to do. Why can't it be night already? Then I could go out and the sun wouldn't burn and there wouldn't be people who want to talk or who want me to smile and I wouldn't have to do anything. When did I become so fucking antsy? I wasn't always this fidgety. Or maybe I was. I don't know. Dammit dammit dammit dammit fucking hell stupid people and their stupid fucking thoughts why can't they stop and leave me alone and stop pitying me and just stop. fucking damn it all. I need to punch something but I can't punch the wall that ended badly last time I need to rip something to pieces and hear it scream. I need it to be warm and gushing I need to rip and tear and kill. I need to hurt something. I want to hurt something.
I scare myself sometimes.
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