yeah i'm double-blogging it.

so i did some research (read: freaked out and texted my therapist) and apparently not being able to focus is a symptom of depression.

cuz i don't have enough of those already. woo! everything feels like shit! i can't sleep! i want to die! and i can't even do my homework!

woo fucking hoo.

anywho, my psycho therapist thinks i'm hallucinating. more specifically, she thinks i'm hallucinating due to combined lack of sleep and high anxiety.

i'm not hallucinating.

i know that other people can't normally see what i see or hear what i hear, but i'm not hallucinating. nobody sees the world through the same pair of eyes, everything is different. some see more some see less some see things other people can't some people refuse to see anything beyond their noses. i'm not hallucinating. i'm not fucking crazy.

today i was talking about anger and rage and somebody spoke up and said

what are you even raging against?

but that's not the point. sometimes you don't need anything to rage against, you just need to rage. you need to riot, you need to make a scene, and you need to find your passion(s). and you need to scream something, even if it's just "i have something to say."
yell
scream
swear
punch shit
rage.
and never say it's not your problem. because the future is always going to be there and somebody you love is gonna be right there with it.

so fucking rage while you're still angry.