One-sided conversations

So today I took a little trip down here. This is what happened:

Me: La la la, oh! Maybe I'll just check on my blog, post something new...

Blog: Hi!

Me: Hello! Do I have any followers yet? Let's just check...

Blog: No.

Silence.

Me: (spirit cracks)

Normally, that wouldn't be so bad (my soul is a relatively fast healer), but then this happened:

Me: (Struggling to look past cracks in soul) okay, well are there any comments?

Blog: (Now cheerfully smiling in the face of my despair) Nope!

Silence.

Me: (Soul cracks a little more and pieces start to fall off) None? Not on any of my posts? Not even on-

Blog: No.

Silence.

Me: (Soul shatters into tiny snowflakes that then melt. And burst into flame)

That's right; I have been having a completely one-sided conversation.
You would not believe how often that happens to me. Actually, I'll give you a hint: A LOT. Whether it's because I ramble on too much, or I stutter, I constantly find myself talking to someone, only to turn and find them talking to someone else or reading a book, or worse, just pretending to listen while they're actually day-dreaming. Observe:

Me: -I mean, can you believe it?

Master conversationalist: Hm.

Me: Also, on a more recent note, I have scaled Mount Everest and am sleeping with your cat.

Master conversationalist: Huh.

Me: Are you even listening?

Master conversationalist: Hmmm. That's not good.

Me: I'm just going to go sit in that corner and cry.

Master conversationalist: Ha ha ha! You're so funny!

...

Yeah.
Labels: Ouch